International Women’s Day is not Valentine’s Day. There’s no need to buy flowers or chocolates. Here’s a few things you can do if you want to celebrate the women in your life.
- Tell them why you appreciate them
- An act of service
- Fight for female equity
Tell them why you appreciate them
This doesn’t mean to tell your mom, I love you. While the sentiment is appreciated, it’s more appropriate to say, “Mom, thank you for every time you stayed home from work with me while I was sick from school.” Or perhaps to your sister or girlfriend, “Thank you for always being the one to plan our weekend activities. I really love that you take on that initiative in our relationship.” Do not assume that they know you are grateful. Hearing or reading the words go a long way.
An act of service
Actions mean a lot! To some people, they mean more than words. This could mean, making their favorite meal, watching the kids so she can have some time to herself, finally fixing that thing she asked you about last month. This is about making them feel appreciated, seen, and heard (yes, you were listening when she asked you to fix that thing :).
Fight for female equity
This is the true reason for the day. If females were paid equally for equal work and in equal positions of power, then there would be no need for today. But until that happens, we will continue to work together for female equity.
This can be done in small ways as well as large ways. I think this feels like a daunting task, so I want to list a couple ways that we can work towards this on a regular basis. The first is recognizing our own biases. I had a boss who previously only commented on the women’s clothing with almost daily occurrences. I frankly told him that his comments, while well-meaning, were uncomfortable and while he was surprised by this, he was glad I said something and refrained from making such comments going forward. It wasn’t just my willingness to say something in this situation, but also his ability to hear what I was trying to say, which was biases towards commenting frequently on female attire, but not male attire. An alternate solution for equity could have been telling everyone how great they looked in the morning meetings, but I think this felt strange to him, so he opted to not say anything at all. Secondly, having conversations about what we want an equitable life, workplace, home, etc to look like is a worthwhile discussion. This conversation should include males and females, because equitable action happens from all genders. In my household, I prefer to do more of the cooking, therefore my husband assumes a larger role in cleanup and childcare. My husband and I have these discussions to work towards a balance. Although, I will admit that things do not usually feel equal to either of us, but it’s the discussions and the goals that matter.
Let me know how you are celebrating with the women in your life.
AND to my mom
I would also like to take a moment to tell my mom that I recognize her for all the times she tried to buy me the right shoes or the right shirt for school. She usually helped us kids with all the clothes shopping. She also handmade my Halloween costumes and taught me how to sew. When it came to the home, my mom managed the finances, menus, files, calendars, and health. I knew that things weren’t 50/50 with my mom and dad growing up, because we always moved according to my dad’s job. I didn’t understand this and asked my mom why we did this. She told me because my father made more money than her. This left quite an impression with me, although I knew this was
